“Move closer to Daddy,” he whispered. I nudged over, but he drew me closer to him where I was almost on his lap. He reached down with his free hand and started to touch my legs. Then he moved his fingers between my legs then under my panties. I froze. I couldn’t breathe. My eyes were darting back and forth trying to figure out what he was doing. It hurt. I tried to move but could not. I sat there staring at the green light on the radio. He grabbed my hand and made me touch him.
He kept telling me, “Faster, faster.”
****
One by one Dad sent Joe, Tom and me down into the cellar and closed the door. We had never been in the cellar because we just moved in. It was dark and cold. Tom was crying so Joe, and I put him between us. All of a sudden the door flew open and at the top of the stairs there it was — Dad’s dark silhouette against the light from the kitchen and in his hand dangling at his side was a belt he slapped against his thigh waiting for his first victim. It was frightening. He ordered us to come up one by one. “Joe, get up here, now,” he roared.
By the time he got to the top, Dad had grabbed his shoulder and with one large swing the belt connected with Joe’s backside almost wrapping around his entire body. Joe screamed.
“Next,” Dad bellowed.
It was either Tom or me. I pushed Tom towards the stairs. He was too small to leave in the basement alone, and it would have taken him a long time to climb to the top. Just like with Joe, the belt wrapped around Tom, and he screamed and cried. I looked up at the dark figure in the doorway and decided I would give it my best shot, so I ran as fast as I could up the stairs
****
Weeks turned into months, and before I knew it, years had passed. Driving to work on the freeway one morning I noticed a large white cross on top of a church. I could not believe I had never noticed it before. As soon as I saw it I felt safe. I can’t explain why simply looking at it made me feel as if God was watching over me, as if he reached his hands out to me letting me know he was there.